Kate Middleton is Pregnant!

Hold the front pages because the story of the year is here: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have today announced that they are expecting their first baby! 

Yes, the pitter patter of royal feet will soon be gracing the halls of the royal residence. A statement from St James’ Palace read:

‘The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby, St James's Palace announced today’

Reports have said that the Duchess has been taken to King Edward VII hospital in London suffering from acute morning sickness and she’s expecting to stay for several days.

A statement on the couples website said that “The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news."

Yes, I’m sure prince Harry is chuffed to bits that he’s now been demoted to fourth in line to the throne as the new arrival will automatically take third spot- hard luck Harry!

And it seems is the rest of the country is also delighted with the news with celebrities including Cheryl Cole and fellow mum-to-be Rochelle Humes tweeting their excitement.

Is this is how they took the news?

Even the Prime Minister is happy with the news, tweeting: “I'm delighted by the news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a baby.’ But nobody cares what you think, so shush!

And now the news has gone global, there will no doubt be an endless speculation of baby names. I’m thinking Beyonce if it’s a girl- no?

One thing’s for sure, K-Middy will be the new yummy mummy about town, so move over Fearne Cotton! And of course designers will be tripping over themselves to dress her now famous bump- and what better person than Sarah Burton (she designed Kate’s wedding dress- keep up!) as it’s rumoured that she has a bun in the oven as well!

No doubt the happy couple will have absolutely NO PRIVACY for months to come, what with people like me gawping at their every move! But none the less, I wish them all the very best and thanks for making this an excellent ending for what has been an amazing year for Great Britain!

"It's over! It's just me, my baby and the paparazzi!"

I’m baaaaack!! I’ve taken a few weeks away from blogging to concentrate on other stuff, but I’m back now and here to stay! So what’s been happening since I’ve been away? Well lots as it seems!

Let’s start with the rumours that Chantelle Houghton has walked out on fiancé Alex Reid just weeks before giving birth! The former Big Brother star, who is 8 months pregnant, has apparently moved out of the home she shares with Alex and back to her old flat in Essex. Chantelle has told her new magazine column:

‘You might have read reports saying that I am sleeping at my flat while Alex has been at our house.

“This is true and I have very good reason for that but I don’t want to go into any more detail because it’s extremely raw right now.

'Oh haha, look how happy we are!'

“It’s been a really upsetting and difficult week for me and not the best thing to have to go through when I’m so close to having the baby.”

Ooh I say! Alex must’ve done something really awful to make her move out so close to giving birth! Perhaps his alter-ego Roxanne has reared her ugly head again? Or maybe the ‘cage fighter’ keeps on whispering Katie Price’s name in his sleep? Or was it that Chantelle was simply horrified when he gave her a sneak preview of his performance in ‘Wildboyz.’?  Whatever it is, no doubt the fame-hungry reality junkies will sell their stories to a magazine or newspaper and recount how horrible their life is. Then they’ll probably get back together (sell this story), have the baby and show of the baby pics in another magazine interview. And they’ll all live happily ever after. The end.

'I'm a singing expert, let me judge you!'

Moving on, I’m hearing reports that Geri Haliwell is set to be a guest judge on the X Factor until they find a permanent judge. Geri Halliwell? Are they serious? And get this, if she makes a good impression, they may make her a permanent fixture. What! I’m sorry, but (with the exception of Posh who just hummed the chorus); Geri was the worse singer in the Spice Girls. And before you go hating on me, I was the biggest Spice Girls fan. Seen them live, watched the 'movie’ and got the t shirt, and the dress, and the unofficial biography.

Of all the talented people in the music industry, surely Simon could have roped in someone more exciting than Geri? Aah well, let’s give her a chance and she how she does when auditions begin on Wednesday. 

Meanwhile, in more X Factor news Dannii Minogue has turned down an offer of £1 million to return to the judging panel. Check her! Oh, and Simon has appointed Britney Spears and Demi Lovato as the new judges for the X Factor USA. That should be interesting. Excuse me while I Google Demi Lovato…

'Were like totally best friends!'

Meanwhile the ‘worlds sexiest woman’ (seriously?) Tulisa has been involved in an altercation at Glasgow airport in which her friend and PA Gareth Varey was allegedly head butted. According to reports, Tulisa and Gareth were in WH Smith at the airport when Tulisa spotted an unflattering picture of her in a magazine and then started complaining loudly. A customer interjected and made a derogatory remark about the star, an argument broke out and the result was 21-year-old Gareth getting head butted! Wow, that’s more exciting than an episode of Airline!

 Apparently, Gareth defended his pal by saying something along the lines of ‘don’t you know who you are talking to?’ Ha! I would have head butted him for that too! Anyways to cut a too long story short, Gareth and the other person were questioned by the police, Tulisa tried her best to diffuse the row, the row ended, they got on their flight, and the police broke out into a rendition of Tulisa’s new tune ‘Young’. Ok, I made that last one up, but we can still dream.

And lastly, to end on a positive note can I say big congratulations to Tom from McFly who married his childhood sweetheart Giovanna last week! And also to Harry from McFly who popped the question to girlfriend Izzy. All together now, aaaaw!!!

Oh shut-uuup!!! Brian sues TOWIE!

Brian is not a happy geezer!

Big Brother 8 winner Brian Belo is set to sue the makers of TOWIE for copying his idea for the Essex based show. Yes you’ve heard that right, the lovable Essex geezer who coined such inspirational phrases such as ‘yoghurt-top’ has drafted in lawyers to sue TOWIE makers Lime Pictures and broadcaster ITV for alleged breach of copyright and breach of confidence. Brian’s filed suit at the High Court also claims that they reproduced or adapted part of a format that he created with two companies, Sassy Films and Massive TV, for a show aptly called ‘Totally Essex ‘.

Ooh, sounds like important stuff for Brian who at one point had never even heard of William Shakespeare! TOWIE makers hit back at his claims, issuing a statement saying ‘Brian Belo's claim against Lime and ITV is totally without foundation and will be vigorously defended. The creative team at Lime Pictures is very proud of TOWIE and the notion that it was not entirely their own work is a serious allegation which is completely refuted.’ 

The original TOWIE cast

But clever Brian, who first spoke about his intention to sue last year, has a trump card in the form of a pilot video for ‘Totally Essex’.  The video features ex TOWIE stars Amy, Mark and Kirk and current cast member Sam all pouting, pointing at the camera and doing some sort of weird of dancing. And there’s no doubt that the video which also features Brian and some unknown persons, has rather a lot of similarities to the show we all know and love:

Totally fake? Brian &Totally Essex cast

Flash cars and bling? Check. Fake boobs and tango orange skin? Check. Mark gazing at himself in any reflective surface? Check. 

Well, you can’t hide the fact that there are many (ok loads) similarities between the two, so whatever happens, its sure going to get very interesting! 

and in other news:

Kerry to the rescue!

Kerry to the rescue!

Who needs Wonder Woman or Super Girl when you have everyone’s favourite hero, erm Kerry Katona! Yes, the reality star has been coming to the rescue recently by leaping to the defense of her fellow female celebs, publically defending their naughty actions. Firstly, Kerry waded into the Stacey Solomon smoking row, stating that Silk Cut’s aren’t even real cigarettes! Kerry love, whoever told you that Silk Cut fags were in fact candy sticks were having a little joke with you!

Still, never one to give up super Kerry has now stuck up for X Factor judge Tulisa who has been humiliated this week following that leaked sex tape.  In her OK magazine column, the former Atomic Kitten star wrote: ‘The guy who sold it should be ashamed of himself - it says a lot about the type of guy he is. It's disgusting what he's done but I'm backing Tulisa all the way - she's done no harm to anyone, it was in her own home and she's not broken any laws." Talk about female solidarity!

Kerry who is no stranger to controversy herself, having previously battled drink and drugs, added "At the end of the day, every couple experiments with sex tapes, but it's private!” Rest assured there will be no home-made videos starring Kerry anytime soon as she revealed that she would never do her own sex tape, "Have I ever done a sex tape? No! It's bad enough doing it in front of your partner, never mind watching yourself back doing it”. That’s probably best as the last thing we want to see is Kerry indulging in a bit of hanky panky!  

So who will Kerry be protecting next? Who knows, but I’m pretty sure that Lindsay Lohan could do with some help…

AND...

•  Celebrity big brother star and half-wag Nicola McLean is 6 weeks pregnant. The blonde babe was apparently shocked at the news because she thought she was unable to conceive after her eating disorder battle. Looks like nights out on the lash with Natasha ‘lock up your husbands’ Giggs are of the cards then?

• Olly Murs is set to join one direction on their American tour. Isn’t that it great that you’re supporting one direction on tour Olly? Wait, didn’t you finish higher than them on the x factor Olly? Aren’t you older and wiser than them Olly? Aren’t you proud that they are number one on the American album chart Olly? Weren’t you glad that you interviewed them on the Xtra Factor Olly? Were you jealous when harry hooked up with Caroline Flack when it was obvious to the world and his Mrs that you wanted her Olly? Olly?

• MY. BIG. FAT. AMERICAN. GYPSY. WEDDING. COMING. SOON. MUST. BREATHE. NEED. AIR

• Kim Kardashian got flour-bombed the other day. Apparently she asked her make-up artist for more powder and someone clearly misunderstood! Or something like that…

And for your viewing pleasure, take a look at the Totally Essex pilot video and judge for yourselves. Is Brian just jel? Or is he a professional who 100% should be angry?