Oh shut-uuup!!! Brian sues TOWIE!

Brian is not a happy geezer!

Big Brother 8 winner Brian Belo is set to sue the makers of TOWIE for copying his idea for the Essex based show. Yes you’ve heard that right, the lovable Essex geezer who coined such inspirational phrases such as ‘yoghurt-top’ has drafted in lawyers to sue TOWIE makers Lime Pictures and broadcaster ITV for alleged breach of copyright and breach of confidence. Brian’s filed suit at the High Court also claims that they reproduced or adapted part of a format that he created with two companies, Sassy Films and Massive TV, for a show aptly called ‘Totally Essex ‘.

Ooh, sounds like important stuff for Brian who at one point had never even heard of William Shakespeare! TOWIE makers hit back at his claims, issuing a statement saying ‘Brian Belo's claim against Lime and ITV is totally without foundation and will be vigorously defended. The creative team at Lime Pictures is very proud of TOWIE and the notion that it was not entirely their own work is a serious allegation which is completely refuted.’ 

The original TOWIE cast

But clever Brian, who first spoke about his intention to sue last year, has a trump card in the form of a pilot video for ‘Totally Essex’.  The video features ex TOWIE stars Amy, Mark and Kirk and current cast member Sam all pouting, pointing at the camera and doing some sort of weird of dancing. And there’s no doubt that the video which also features Brian and some unknown persons, has rather a lot of similarities to the show we all know and love:

Totally fake? Brian &Totally Essex cast

Flash cars and bling? Check. Fake boobs and tango orange skin? Check. Mark gazing at himself in any reflective surface? Check. 

Well, you can’t hide the fact that there are many (ok loads) similarities between the two, so whatever happens, its sure going to get very interesting! 

and in other news:

Kerry to the rescue!

Kerry to the rescue!

Who needs Wonder Woman or Super Girl when you have everyone’s favourite hero, erm Kerry Katona! Yes, the reality star has been coming to the rescue recently by leaping to the defense of her fellow female celebs, publically defending their naughty actions. Firstly, Kerry waded into the Stacey Solomon smoking row, stating that Silk Cut’s aren’t even real cigarettes! Kerry love, whoever told you that Silk Cut fags were in fact candy sticks were having a little joke with you!

Still, never one to give up super Kerry has now stuck up for X Factor judge Tulisa who has been humiliated this week following that leaked sex tape.  In her OK magazine column, the former Atomic Kitten star wrote: ‘The guy who sold it should be ashamed of himself - it says a lot about the type of guy he is. It's disgusting what he's done but I'm backing Tulisa all the way - she's done no harm to anyone, it was in her own home and she's not broken any laws." Talk about female solidarity!

Kerry who is no stranger to controversy herself, having previously battled drink and drugs, added "At the end of the day, every couple experiments with sex tapes, but it's private!” Rest assured there will be no home-made videos starring Kerry anytime soon as she revealed that she would never do her own sex tape, "Have I ever done a sex tape? No! It's bad enough doing it in front of your partner, never mind watching yourself back doing it”. That’s probably best as the last thing we want to see is Kerry indulging in a bit of hanky panky!  

So who will Kerry be protecting next? Who knows, but I’m pretty sure that Lindsay Lohan could do with some help…

AND...

•  Celebrity big brother star and half-wag Nicola McLean is 6 weeks pregnant. The blonde babe was apparently shocked at the news because she thought she was unable to conceive after her eating disorder battle. Looks like nights out on the lash with Natasha ‘lock up your husbands’ Giggs are of the cards then?

• Olly Murs is set to join one direction on their American tour. Isn’t that it great that you’re supporting one direction on tour Olly? Wait, didn’t you finish higher than them on the x factor Olly? Aren’t you older and wiser than them Olly? Aren’t you proud that they are number one on the American album chart Olly? Weren’t you glad that you interviewed them on the Xtra Factor Olly? Were you jealous when harry hooked up with Caroline Flack when it was obvious to the world and his Mrs that you wanted her Olly? Olly?

• MY. BIG. FAT. AMERICAN. GYPSY. WEDDING. COMING. SOON. MUST. BREATHE. NEED. AIR

• Kim Kardashian got flour-bombed the other day. Apparently she asked her make-up artist for more powder and someone clearly misunderstood! Or something like that…

And for your viewing pleasure, take a look at the Totally Essex pilot video and judge for yourselves. Is Brian just jel? Or is he a professional who 100% should be angry? 

Chezza's at it again!

Former friends: Cheryl and Cher

Well she’s at it again! No, not Natasha Giggs and a horny footballer, I mean Cheryl Cole and her infamous Twitter scraps. Although, once again it’s not poor Chezza’s fault that someone has laid into her. This time it’s the turn of Cher Lloyd, yes the one who was mentored by Cheryl on the X Factor. To show just how much she appreciated Cheryl putting her through, supporting her and standing up for her, Cher made a naughty dig during a radio interview implying that Cheryl couldn’t sing live. Asked by Real Radio North West if a duet with the Parachutes singer was on the cards, Cher replied saying ‘Maybe if she sings live with me!’ When questioned if singing live would prove difficult for Cheryl, Miss Swagger Jagger added ‘Well it is nowadays, when you haven't got the nifty little button to press!’ Ooh, check her!  5 minutes in the business and she thinks she’s the bee’s knees! And just to dig her hole a little deeper, the 18 year old who recently got engaged to her boyfriend of 5 minutes, sarcastically replied ‘What? Oh no. Never, never ever!’ when pressed if she thought Cheryl needed the use of auto-tune.

 Not one to take it lying down (just ask MC Harvey), the Twitter war veteran flexed her fingers and delivered a scathing reply on everyone favourite social network; ‘Be Careful who you kick on your way up... They kick you twice as hard on your way back down. #unappreciationisugly.’ Ouch! I’m sure the same image of Chezza fly-kicking Cher in the head has popped into everyone’s heads as well as mine. And even though Cher has apologised about the remark, the young popstrel better watch out as we all know that our favourite Geordie lass has a mean right hook!

'I'm over age, promise!'

Talking of the X Factor (kind of) the lovable stud muffin known as Frankie Cocozza has apparently been TURNING DOWN girls! Well, one in particular. Now, I know this is hard to imagine as Frankie’s usual requirements is that you are breathing and have the correct, ahem, body part; but this lady in particular wasn’t so lucky.  Coming up to Frankie as he left London club Anaya in the wee hours, the poor girl draped herself over the ‘singer’ and planted a kiss on his cheek. Frankie, who was accompanied by BFF’s and fellow Celebrity Big Brother stars Kirk Norcross and Natasha ‘lock up your husbands’ Giggs, looked keen to get away, but the persistent brunette was a tough cookie to crack. Showing off her superb seduction skills, she then appeared to show Frankie her passport, perhaps to imply she is above the age of consent.  Classy. I guess it wasn’t her night as in a never before seen move, Frankie actually declined. But to be fair to the girl, I can clearly see why she and numerous other girls find the former X Factor star attractive. It must be his bird nest of a barnet, or perhaps his resemblance to that other hunk Pete Doherty.  Oh, I know! It’s his velvet smooth voice which is a cross between Gary Barlow and Lionel Richie. No?

'Give us a snog!' Frankie and his not-so-secret admirer.

In other breaking news this week, former TOWIE star Amy Childs and ex Heartbeat actress Tricia Penrose (Google her if you must) faced every girls nightmare- turning up to an event in the same dress! Oh the horror! At least it would have been if it was a nice dress. Take a look at the pics below and tell me if you think the dress is good or if it’s a tacky leopard print monstrosity that does nothing for neither of their figures? 

Frocky horror show: Amy and Tricia

 At the Pia Michi 2012 launch party (me neither), both girls refused to back down and change, but in the end it was Amy who relented and changed into an equally horrific purple number.  Tricia was overheard saying that she had ‘been around longer’ as a reason why she refused to change, but judging by your recent antics love, you’re in no position to talk! For as we saw a few weeks ago, at the same time Denise ‘show us yer tits’ Welch was doing what she does best outside a pub on her estranged hubby’s birthday, she was flanked by two other boob flashing women. One of which was Tricia. If you’re trying to get back in the limelight after a while in the shadows, this is not the best way of going about things dear. You’re a very good actress and so you should try acting instead of flashing your bits and picking fights with girls half your age! If you’re at a loose end love, I’m sure the Loose Women ladies will take you on board. I doubt no one will notice if they swapped you for Andrea ‘dull as dishwater’ McLean.

You can take a boy out of Essex...

That TOWIE lot, don’t you just love them. Not contented with being confined to Wednesday and Sunday nights on ITV2, some of them have now decided to branch out on their own. Being on the successful, BAFTA winning The Only way is Essex have led some cast members to believe that they can now make it big without the show that made them famous. They have somehow got it into their perfectly groomed heads that there is life beyond the Essex bubble. Let’s observe:

Exhibit 1: Mark Wright. Known to some as the ‘King of Essex’, the cheeky charmer thought that he would be ruling everywhere he went, so he went to Australia. In the I’m a Celebrity jungle he showed off those impressive pecs, flirted outrageously with some Aussie bird and struck up a bromance to rival the infamous ‘Marg’. All that hard work paid off as he came second in the show.  So those clever people at ITV decided that this was enough to give him his own show presenting Take Me Out: The Gossip. Big mistake. For weeks now the Essex wide boy has been boring Britain with his bland presenting and vacant expressions. Reading an autocue does not make you a good presenter! If ITV has any sense, they’ll drop this show quicker than Russell Brand dropped his wife.

Exhibit 2: Amy Childs. The red headed bombshell was a hit on the show thanks to her ditzy antics in her glitzy salon with her itzy bitzy cousin. So she decided to fly the Essex nest and soar into the big wide world, well London actually. So off she trotted into the Celebrity Big Brother house and flirted and pouted her way to a not too shabby fourth place. And so the clever people at Channel 5 decided to grace her with her own fly-on-the- wall show called it’s all about Amy. Unsurprisingly the show has bombed and has been swiftly axed by show bosses. Apparently Amy driving to photo shoots and fussing about vajazzles in her salon doesn’t make interesting viewing- no s**t Sherlock!

Exhibit 3: Kirk Norcross. The night-club owner and notorious daddy’s boy made quite an impression on the ladies. I’m sure it was his remarkable personality and had nothing to do with his bulging bank balance. Away he left (or so he claims) to pursue pastures new, or in other words copying Amy by moving into Britain's most famous house (after the Queen’s of course).  Here, he showed off his exceptional pulling skills (‘are your boobs real?’) and fantastic geographic knowledge (we all mix up Australia and South America from time to time), endearing him to a very large handful of viewers. And although he’s yet to be snapped up, rumours are that the very clever people at Channel 5 are looking to sign him up for The Bachelor. Oh. What. Joy.

And so as the new series kicks off, I’m sure there will be a new batch of superstars popping up on all our channels.  Perhaps the recently axed Maria Fowler could present the Antiques Roadshow? Or maybe you’ll find Harry Derbridge, who’s also been dropped, joining the team on Eggheads? Only time will tell. In the meantime, let us relish at the recent news that Amy wants to appear on Dancing On Ice and that Mark is planning on ‘writing’ a dating book. However, I think it’s safe to say that Kirk won’t be appearing on Mastermind anytime soon.