The BRITS are the PITS!

Watching the BRIT Awards last week, I can only draw one conclusion: it’s the pits!

Long gone are the days where the awards were a wild drunken affair where pop stars and rock stars alike really let their hair down and actually had a GOOD TIME! Last week’s awards ceremony seemed drab, boring and far too sensible. 

It’s quite obvious that the producers wanted everything to be perfect and after last year’s ‘Adele-gate’ where host James Cordon cut off the star halfway through her acceptance speech, it’s clear that they were trying too hard. So hard in fact that they did the final acceptance speech BEFORE the ad break, so the closing act (this year Emeli Sande- yes, her AGAIN!), would have the whole of the final section to perform. However, in their desperate attempt to stay on the right side of PC, the makers of the BRITS has lost the whole essence of the show and misplaced that certain something that has previously made the BRITS one of the most anticipated events in British music.

 What happened to the days of yesteryear when Britpop giants Oasis and Blur went head-to-head or where a drunken Jarvis Cocker attempted to ruin Michael Jackson’s performance or Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood presented a shambolic show where auto cues and microphones proved to be catalysts for disaster? Yes, these are eyebrow-raising events but they are MEMORABLE events that will go down in the BRIT awards HISTORY! What did we have to remember from this year? One Direction proving that they have amazing talent... at murdering two songs in one go! Or what about those good but safe performances by Mumford and Sons, Ben Howard and even Justin Timberlake. All great artists, but seriously- YAWN!!  The most exciting thing part was when Taylor Swift ripped off her wedding dress and revealed a sexy black outfit underneath whilst performing her really catchy tune I knew you were trouble. This moved was no doubt to show ex boyfriend/song inspiration Harry Styles what he’s missing. 

 

But seriously, if the BRITS don’t want to go down the same way as the MOBO’S (I mean, who still watches that?) then they have to pull their dull, grey socks up! Loosen up and let the BRITS be the fun, unpredictable night it once was. Let it not all be about the ‘suits’ making stupid ‘executive decisions’ but allow it to be about the MUSIC and the all important FANS. Otherwise it’ll be all over as fast as you can say “ratings flop”- I kid you not!

Katie prepares to strut her stuff!

Strictly come raunchy?

Breaking news! Ok, not breaking but news that will make you scoff, laugh out loud or spit out whatever you’re currently eating. Ready? It has emerged that Katie Price and her fella Leandro Penna are set to appear in the Argentinean version of Strictly Come Dancing! Yes, you heard that right, Katie will be squeezing herself in a tight, sparkly costume, with loads of make-up on and will be prancing around for all to see- so no change there then! The couple, who have one of those annoying on again, off again relationships will appear on the show called Bailando Por Un Sueno. During a webcam interview with the channel that airs the show, Katie (known to us as Jordan) was asked if she would like to dance with her Argentinean toyboy, to which she replied (in Spanish) ‘Si Si Si!’ Her model boyfriend then added ‘The truth is she's very jealous and won't let me dance with anyone unless it's her. It seems I'm going to have to bring her to Argentina. She'll dance with me’. Erm, not sure how the professional dancers will take that love. 

Obviously, Jordan hasn’t learnt her lesson and is defying the public demand for her NOT to collaborate with her men. Clearly she has forgotten her cringe worthy duet with then hubby Peter André; unfortunately, we haven’t. (A whole new world anyone?)

Still, the reality show should be right up Katie’s street as it has a reputation for being very racy. In the past, contestants have delivered some raunchy performances including one couple who danced stark naked! And with ex Baywatch pin-up Pamela Anderson a former star, this should be right up Katie’s street!

Secret lovers?

A secret affair between Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue has been revealed in an unauthorized book about the music mogul. Coming less than two weeks after Dannii confirmed her split with boyfriend Kris Smith, the explosive book tells of Simon's love of former X Factor colleague Dannii; he’s quoted as saying ‘I had a crush on her. It was Dannii's hair, the sexy clothes and the t**s. I was like a schoolboy. She was foxy. She was a real man's girl. Very feminine.'

 

The short-lived affair, which allegedly took place in 2007, was apparently one of the reasons Sharon Osbourne had hated Dannii so much and could explain the visible rift between the then X Factor judges.  Ooh-er! And it appears that the fling was well and truly over by the time Cheryl Cole joined the panel, for she had took pride of place next to Simon, a seat Dannii formerly occupied.

This is all well and good, but what I wanna know is, what about Louis Walsh? Who’s he having an affair with? Now that would be a story!

With legions of screaming teenage girls following them around the globe in Beatle mania-like hysteria, it seems that One Direction have well and truly made it. And if ever the handsome boy band had any doubts over their level of fame, then a certain eBay auction will disperse all fears. Let me elaborate.

Fancy a bite? It'll cost ya!

In my last post, I spoke about how Niall had spat out a piece of toast that was spread with Vegemite (Aussie version of marmite) on an Australian daytime TV show. Somehow, some sly so and so at the studio saw an opportunity to make some dosh, and the discarded toast (not the one regurgitated, but the piece of toast he took a bite of) was promptly put on eBay. 

But here’s the crazy thing, this said piece of toast has reached bids of over $100,000! (£65,000). One hundred thousand dollars??? Wow! These boys really have hit the big time!  All I can say is that these bonkers individuals have got money to burn! I’ve got some banana peel in my bin if anyone’s interested? No? Okay.  To prove how much the boys fame has rocketed, let’s take a look at some other famous auctions containing celebrities used crap: 

1. Britney Spears’ chewing gum. Disgusting I know, but some weird person actually brought Brit’s discarded gum for £164 back in 2004.
2. Scarlett Johansson’s used tissue. Perhaps even more gross than Brit’s minty money-earner (if that's at all possible!). Scarlett’s tissue fetched £3,320 on eBay. The money went to charity, but that still doesn’t excuse the frowziness.
3. Justin Bieber’s hair. What’s up with these teenage heartthrobs? Before toastgate, came the ludicrous money spent on Justin’s lock of hair when he finally gave that stupid barnet a trim. A stupid woman brought the said hair for £25,000.  -_-
4. Justin Timberlake’s French toast. After taking one bite of the French toast made for him, one cunning individual sold the hardly eaten toast, along with the fork and plate used and made a tidy profit of £1,970. Nice one.

So there you have it. Remember kids, there’s no need to get a job. Just stalk a high profile celebrity, wait for them to discard something gross, pop it on eBay and Bobs your uncle! Ker-ching!

Celebs of the week!

Never one for a quiet life, the celebs have been hitting the headlines this week for all sorts of reasons! From break-ups to family feuds, these celebs have certainly been setting our tongues wagging, so here’s my list of the top 5 celebs this week! (In no particular order)

Has Mollie found her prince charming?

1. She already has a royal name, but now Mollie King could have a royal title as it has been revealed that none other than Prince Harry is smitten with her! Apparently the pair, who've been friends for 2 years, have been spotted flirting and partying in nightclubs in recent weeks. Jealous? Me? Never! Now where’s my Mollie voodoo doll…
2. If recent rumours are to believed, The Wanted’s Max George has a heart vacancy (geddit?) as his relationship with Corrie’s Michelle Keegan has hit an all time low (OK, I’ll stop now). But the singer cleared up the rumours on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show telling listeners that the couple are no longer engaged but are still together. That’s a relief, because they make an awfully gorgeous couple!
3. Hot on the tails of her former TOWIE co-stars, Maria Fowler has been in the centre of a bidding war between I’m a Celebrity and Celebrity Big Brother after signaling her intentions to appear on either of the shows. Its reported that offers of up to £250.000 has been put on the table. However, the difference is we were actually looking forward to seeing Amy, Kirk and Mark on their prospective shows. You, we couldn’t care less about and you’d probably be more suited to appear on something like Celebrity Shark Bait.
4. Not content with setting British teenagers hearts a flutter and recently causing Beatle-like hysteria in America, One Direction have now turned their sights on Australia. The former X Factor contestants have been getting up to all sorts including sunning themselves on a yacht and showing off their sophisticated pallets by sampling some Aussie foods. However, someone should have warned poor Niall that vegemite was disgusting after he was forced to spit out his vegemite-covered toast live on TV!
5. It seems like splitsville is on the verge of becoming over-populated, for not long after Ronan Keating announced the end of his marriage, Dannii Minogue has now confirmed that her relationship with model Kris Smith is now over. The ex couple, who have a son Ethan together, both released statements saying they have split. Apparently, dannii had a heart-to-heart with older sister Kylie, before making the difficult decision to part with Kris.
   
   

Stay tuned for more celebrity goss, coming soon! In the meantime, here’s One Direction in all their youthful glory: