"It's over! It's just me, my baby and the paparazzi!"

I’m baaaaack!! I’ve taken a few weeks away from blogging to concentrate on other stuff, but I’m back now and here to stay! So what’s been happening since I’ve been away? Well lots as it seems!

Let’s start with the rumours that Chantelle Houghton has walked out on fiancé Alex Reid just weeks before giving birth! The former Big Brother star, who is 8 months pregnant, has apparently moved out of the home she shares with Alex and back to her old flat in Essex. Chantelle has told her new magazine column:

‘You might have read reports saying that I am sleeping at my flat while Alex has been at our house.

“This is true and I have very good reason for that but I don’t want to go into any more detail because it’s extremely raw right now.

'Oh haha, look how happy we are!'

“It’s been a really upsetting and difficult week for me and not the best thing to have to go through when I’m so close to having the baby.”

Ooh I say! Alex must’ve done something really awful to make her move out so close to giving birth! Perhaps his alter-ego Roxanne has reared her ugly head again? Or maybe the ‘cage fighter’ keeps on whispering Katie Price’s name in his sleep? Or was it that Chantelle was simply horrified when he gave her a sneak preview of his performance in ‘Wildboyz.’?  Whatever it is, no doubt the fame-hungry reality junkies will sell their stories to a magazine or newspaper and recount how horrible their life is. Then they’ll probably get back together (sell this story), have the baby and show of the baby pics in another magazine interview. And they’ll all live happily ever after. The end.

'I'm a singing expert, let me judge you!'

Moving on, I’m hearing reports that Geri Haliwell is set to be a guest judge on the X Factor until they find a permanent judge. Geri Halliwell? Are they serious? And get this, if she makes a good impression, they may make her a permanent fixture. What! I’m sorry, but (with the exception of Posh who just hummed the chorus); Geri was the worse singer in the Spice Girls. And before you go hating on me, I was the biggest Spice Girls fan. Seen them live, watched the 'movie’ and got the t shirt, and the dress, and the unofficial biography.

Of all the talented people in the music industry, surely Simon could have roped in someone more exciting than Geri? Aah well, let’s give her a chance and she how she does when auditions begin on Wednesday. 

Meanwhile, in more X Factor news Dannii Minogue has turned down an offer of £1 million to return to the judging panel. Check her! Oh, and Simon has appointed Britney Spears and Demi Lovato as the new judges for the X Factor USA. That should be interesting. Excuse me while I Google Demi Lovato…

'Were like totally best friends!'

Meanwhile the ‘worlds sexiest woman’ (seriously?) Tulisa has been involved in an altercation at Glasgow airport in which her friend and PA Gareth Varey was allegedly head butted. According to reports, Tulisa and Gareth were in WH Smith at the airport when Tulisa spotted an unflattering picture of her in a magazine and then started complaining loudly. A customer interjected and made a derogatory remark about the star, an argument broke out and the result was 21-year-old Gareth getting head butted! Wow, that’s more exciting than an episode of Airline!

 Apparently, Gareth defended his pal by saying something along the lines of ‘don’t you know who you are talking to?’ Ha! I would have head butted him for that too! Anyways to cut a too long story short, Gareth and the other person were questioned by the police, Tulisa tried her best to diffuse the row, the row ended, they got on their flight, and the police broke out into a rendition of Tulisa’s new tune ‘Young’. Ok, I made that last one up, but we can still dream.

And lastly, to end on a positive note can I say big congratulations to Tom from McFly who married his childhood sweetheart Giovanna last week! And also to Harry from McFly who popped the question to girlfriend Izzy. All together now, aaaaw!!!

Katie prepares to strut her stuff!

Strictly come raunchy?

Breaking news! Ok, not breaking but news that will make you scoff, laugh out loud or spit out whatever you’re currently eating. Ready? It has emerged that Katie Price and her fella Leandro Penna are set to appear in the Argentinean version of Strictly Come Dancing! Yes, you heard that right, Katie will be squeezing herself in a tight, sparkly costume, with loads of make-up on and will be prancing around for all to see- so no change there then! The couple, who have one of those annoying on again, off again relationships will appear on the show called Bailando Por Un Sueno. During a webcam interview with the channel that airs the show, Katie (known to us as Jordan) was asked if she would like to dance with her Argentinean toyboy, to which she replied (in Spanish) ‘Si Si Si!’ Her model boyfriend then added ‘The truth is she's very jealous and won't let me dance with anyone unless it's her. It seems I'm going to have to bring her to Argentina. She'll dance with me’. Erm, not sure how the professional dancers will take that love. 

Obviously, Jordan hasn’t learnt her lesson and is defying the public demand for her NOT to collaborate with her men. Clearly she has forgotten her cringe worthy duet with then hubby Peter André; unfortunately, we haven’t. (A whole new world anyone?)

Still, the reality show should be right up Katie’s street as it has a reputation for being very racy. In the past, contestants have delivered some raunchy performances including one couple who danced stark naked! And with ex Baywatch pin-up Pamela Anderson a former star, this should be right up Katie’s street!

Secret lovers?

A secret affair between Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue has been revealed in an unauthorized book about the music mogul. Coming less than two weeks after Dannii confirmed her split with boyfriend Kris Smith, the explosive book tells of Simon's love of former X Factor colleague Dannii; he’s quoted as saying ‘I had a crush on her. It was Dannii's hair, the sexy clothes and the t**s. I was like a schoolboy. She was foxy. She was a real man's girl. Very feminine.'

 

The short-lived affair, which allegedly took place in 2007, was apparently one of the reasons Sharon Osbourne had hated Dannii so much and could explain the visible rift between the then X Factor judges.  Ooh-er! And it appears that the fling was well and truly over by the time Cheryl Cole joined the panel, for she had took pride of place next to Simon, a seat Dannii formerly occupied.

This is all well and good, but what I wanna know is, what about Louis Walsh? Who’s he having an affair with? Now that would be a story!

With legions of screaming teenage girls following them around the globe in Beatle mania-like hysteria, it seems that One Direction have well and truly made it. And if ever the handsome boy band had any doubts over their level of fame, then a certain eBay auction will disperse all fears. Let me elaborate.

Fancy a bite? It'll cost ya!

In my last post, I spoke about how Niall had spat out a piece of toast that was spread with Vegemite (Aussie version of marmite) on an Australian daytime TV show. Somehow, some sly so and so at the studio saw an opportunity to make some dosh, and the discarded toast (not the one regurgitated, but the piece of toast he took a bite of) was promptly put on eBay. 

But here’s the crazy thing, this said piece of toast has reached bids of over $100,000! (£65,000). One hundred thousand dollars??? Wow! These boys really have hit the big time!  All I can say is that these bonkers individuals have got money to burn! I’ve got some banana peel in my bin if anyone’s interested? No? Okay.  To prove how much the boys fame has rocketed, let’s take a look at some other famous auctions containing celebrities used crap: 

1. Britney Spears’ chewing gum. Disgusting I know, but some weird person actually brought Brit’s discarded gum for £164 back in 2004.
2. Scarlett Johansson’s used tissue. Perhaps even more gross than Brit’s minty money-earner (if that's at all possible!). Scarlett’s tissue fetched £3,320 on eBay. The money went to charity, but that still doesn’t excuse the frowziness.
3. Justin Bieber’s hair. What’s up with these teenage heartthrobs? Before toastgate, came the ludicrous money spent on Justin’s lock of hair when he finally gave that stupid barnet a trim. A stupid woman brought the said hair for £25,000.  -_-
4. Justin Timberlake’s French toast. After taking one bite of the French toast made for him, one cunning individual sold the hardly eaten toast, along with the fork and plate used and made a tidy profit of £1,970. Nice one.

So there you have it. Remember kids, there’s no need to get a job. Just stalk a high profile celebrity, wait for them to discard something gross, pop it on eBay and Bobs your uncle! Ker-ching!