Don't make Chris Brown angry, you won't like him when he's angry!

Chris Brown has never been one to hold back, and his latest Twitter spat shows he has no plans to change!

He recently partook in an abusive exchange of words with US comedienne Jenny Johnson which began when Brown tweeted a picture alongside the comment "I look old as f**k! I'm only 23..." Johnson took it upon herself to respond to this, saying "I know! Being a worthless piece of s**t can really age a person."

The ‘Don’t wake me up’ singer obviously did an ‘OH HELL NO!’ (Including the finger snap I presume) and crudely responded “Take them teeth out when u Sucking my d**k HOE” to which Johnson replied: "It's 'HO' not 'HOE' you ignorant f**k." I quite agree, spelling is important!

What followed was a series of heated exchanges between the two, which included Brown tweeting comments such as "I should fart while ur giving me top" and “mom says hello... She told me not to s**** in ur mouth, wanted me to s*** right on the retina.” Eew, and also lol.

 Johnson seemed to back down from the confrontation in the end, saying “Okay. I'm done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to s**t and fart on me."

Rihanna herself seemed to later get in on the act by later posting a picture of the comments and tweeting “How does one find the time? We gotta do better than this!!" Her response certainly adds fuel to the fire that the pair are definitely back together; and that didn’t do it, then she must’ve used a flame thrower or got Charmander on board when she posted an earlier snap of Chris brown sprawled out on her bed! That’ll get the gossips talking- ingenious RiRi!

If the two megastars are really back together, then it seems that Jenny Johnson won’t be the last person who’ll be eager to give their opinion. But if their latest duet ‘Nobody’s business’ is anything to go by, I don’t think they give two hoots!

Those pesky celebs!

So I stop blogging for a couple of weeks and what happens? Those pesky celebs cause so much drama and controversy I’ve got more juicy showbiz gossip than I can shake a stick at! So much has happened in celebville over the last couple of weeks that I’ve had to categorise the gossip and condense them into bite size (ish) chunks! So here it goes…

Feuds. 

Family feud: Tulisa and Dappy

• Celebs love nothing better than getting into a good old Twitter scrap, no more so it seems than Tulisa. The X Factor beauty has had a massive row with cousin and (what is now revealed) former N Dubz band mate Dappy. Laying into Dappy, who has a penchant for wearing stupid hats and saying 'na na naii’, Tulisa let rip after the rapper retweeted messages from fans who were trying to appeal to Tulisa to reach out to her band mate. Obviously enraged at being portrayed as the bad guy, Tulisa tweeted a string of messages to Dappy in which she apparently confirmed N Dubz split (I’m not going to try and translate what she says, work it out for yourselves!): 

@TheDappy u know my number mate..I dont know urs cus u aint gave it 2 me since u changed it... so dont gass the fans, u wana talk Im here."
"@TheDappy serious man I hold it down, dont make me start talkin real cus u won't like it nor will the fans, allow twitter,man up n call me.
"4 the ndubletts triena take sides... pls remember... dappy left ndubz, that's y we split, n wen he wanted 2 get away I tried 2 move him... In2 my yard."
"He left n got a new num n I aint heard from him since, he aint called or made contact, just tlks 2 the press about me. Sayin he misses me but where the hells my call, I don't even have his num! had 2 txt me dad 2 pass a message 2 him n got no reply."

She finished her rant by urging Dappy to call her and scolding herself for rowing so publicly. Over to you Dappy…

• Another Twitter row has also erupted (getting a bit boring now, isn’t it) this time between The Wanted’s Tom and TOWIE’s Mario. It all started when Lydia posted a pic of her and her mum reading a magazine in which they gave an interview. For some reason, Tom decided to have a pop and said ‘How ironic is that picture? Is that what you lot call yourselves these days for doing nothing!! #shocking.' This caused an outraged Mario to let rip, with Tom fighting back. I can’t be bothered to go into all the tweets (as there are so many) but basically Mario got labeled a 2^nd class Mark Wright whilst Tom was branded the ugly one in the band and just a backing singer to Max (the bald one in the group who is apparently the ‘fittest’). Can I just say that all these tweets seem to be true, so what’s the beef? Lydia, Lucy and Debbie waded in too but no one really cares.

Where's the love Cheryl?

• Celebrity dispute veteran Cheryl Cole has been ruffling the feathers of former X Factor mentee (is that a word?) Alexandra Burke. The 'Hallelujah’ singer has revealed that Cheryl has practically ignored her for the past year, failing to return the singers texts and calls.  This echoes claims from Cher Lloyd, who also confessed that the Geordie lass isn’t handy with the telephone and has failed to keep in touch with her either. Alex revealed this after Cheryl tweeted her out of the blue saying how hot she was in her latest video. Sounds like Chezza need to work on her people skills…                                                                                                                                                                         
• The Bachelor ‘winner’ Carianne (you know, the one with the voice that makes you want to kill yourself- or her) has slagged off ex ‘boyfriend’ Gavin Henson, branding him boring! She also stated that he tricked her and the whole relationship was fake. No s**t Sherlock! After watching that show religiously, we all knew that Gavin was as dull as Roy Cropper off Corrie and that it was probably more fun having a convo with a brick wall! You knew the score Carianne. Win the show, pretend to be interested for a while, make some money and then done! We all knew it was coming love, so stop kidding yourself!

Romance

• Love is in the air again for Mr. Lover Lover Jermaine Defoe. But clearly the footballer has had a recent bump to his head because instead of going for his normal glamour model/ reality star/ vacuous blonde type- he’s actually hooked up with someone who has a talent and isn’t a fame hungry airhead.  Step forward Alexandra Burke! Yes, Alex clearly pays attention to her song lyrics when she sang she wanted a ‘Bad Boy’. I guess dreams do come true! Although judging by Defoe’s track record with women, it’ll probably be more like a nightmare! Good luck with that one Alex!

• Another couple setting tongues wagging are pop stars Jessie J and Tinie Tempah. The two stars of British music have apparently been seeing each over for a few weeks and seem smitten, with openly bisexual Jessie spending a lot of time at his house. This romance, however unlikely, seems rather cute and fans no doubt are probably wondering if they’ll collaborate in the studio as well as the bedroom. It’ll bring music to their ears! (literally)

Babies

• A massive congratulations to The Saturday’s singer Una Healy who gave birth to baby girl Aoife Belle Foden last week! All the Saturday's girls were really excited and tweeted messages of excitement. Rochelle was recently seen with fiancé Marvin (lucky cow) going to visit baby Aoife and Una, who celebrated her first Mother's Day on Sunday. All together now- aaaww!!!                                                                                                                       

Ready to pop: Jessica Simpson

•  Breaking news- Jessica Simpson is STILL pregnant! She seems to have been carrying that bump around for about 17 years! Perhaps she had the baby ages ago but loved being preggers so much she walks around with a cushion stuffed up her top? Nonetheless, the singer (does she still sing?) looks like she’s about to give birth to a horse let alone a baby, so here’s wishing her a happy and safe birth whenever it is (hopefully sometime in the next decade).                                                                     
                                                                                                                          
  

Is that a nappy your'e waring Kris?

• Ok, so she may not be pregnant, but that doesn’t stop Kris Jenner from showing off her baby bump! The limelight hogging ‘momager’ decided that to celebrate son Rob turning 25, she’d post on her blog a picture of herself pregnant with Rob, in a style similar to that of Demi Moore (albeit years before). Yep. That’s what every 25-year-old guy wants to see. A picture of their mum, starkers (apart from a pair of white pants that looks like a nappy) with a huge bump that contains you as a foetus! Happy birthday Rob!

Other celeb news I can’t be bothered to categorise

•  Simon Cowell has threatened to axe the X Factor if this year’s series isn’t a complete success. This may very well be true what with the controversies surrounding the last series, but Mr. Cowell, isn’t this a convenient time to let this slip? A week before your other show Britain’s Got Talent is set to take on The Voice in the ratings war? I smell a rat!

• A sex tape has been leaked allegedly featuring Tulisa doing a naughty sex act, gasp! If this is true, then the former N Dubz singer is very stupid and may have ruined her X Factor career- unless Simon axes it first of course. Don’t these people ever learn? If you’re going to have sex, just don’t film it! Because as much as you love the person involved at the time, when you get rich and famous, they are only going to betray you and sell the tape! Unless of course, it’s your dream to be the new Paris or Kim… And following her row with Dappy, he responded to the sex tape news by tweeting 'Man this sex video fing is a bit rough! I knew Tulisa weren't talkin to me, but not cos she had her mouf full!!' Hmmm, don't know if that helps Dappy, but it's the thought that counts...

George in handcuffs? I'm not saying a word!

• Both Russell Brand and George Clooney have been arrested in non-related incidents. Whilst George was making people’s hearts melt by protesting outside the Sudanese  embassy about Syrian human rights abuse, Russell meanwhile grabbed a photographer’s phone and lobbed it through a law firm’s window! Tut tut!                                                                                              

• And finally 90’s band Steps recently performed at GAY, with Claire saying she doesn’t mind being the big girl in the band. The size 16 singer, who is happy with her size, doesn’t seem fazed that Lisa 'desperado' Scott-Lee is trying to be the hot one, despite everyone knowing that it was Faye that all the boys fancied. Even if she is bothered, she can always console herself with cake. And that’s not me being spiteful; Claire is actually hosting Lorraine’s Cake Club which aims to find Britain’s best cake. I think I’ll stop right here. As a treat for you, here's Steps doing what they do best:                

Fight! Fight! Fight! But NOT for this love!

Is it all in his head??

It’s all going down in celebville this week! A story that’s had all showbiz journalist salivating and clambering to their laptops, desperately trying to report any scrap of news that come their way. Yes, it’s the biggest fight since Tyson and Holyfield; I give you Cheryl Cole vs. MC Harvey (So Solid Crew). Huh? Yes that was my first reaction too. But it’s true; these two have been laying into each other over Twitter ever since the So Solid MC made shocking claims that he and Chezza had been involved in some sort of relationship following her split from Ashley Cole. According to an interview in a top celebrity magazine, Harvey states that ‘there was a relationship and attraction to each other's aura. I'm not going to sit here and say we went to this restaurant and that restaurant. But I'm sure people aren't stupid.’ He went on to add ‘We've known each other for years. But then (after Cheryl split with Ashley) we started confiding in each other. There was an attraction. That comes when you talk to people and Cheryl is a nice girl.’

Something to hide chez?

Just as journo’s were tripping over themselves to break this shocking news, Cheryl retorts with a massive ‘oh hell no!’ via twitter by angrily responding ‘was this "relationship" happening in your head @harveyofficial?! Are you smoking something? She then rubbed salt into the wound by adding ‘I think I've met you once maybe twice at public events and with your wife!! #sh*tjustgetsweirder”. Ouch!

But not one to step down, the rapper hit back at the girls aloud beauty with a string of angry tweets:

"Do you actually want me to tweet some of the messages you emailed me @cherylcole pipe down and stop playing the saint in front of your fans."

"I had your back @cherylcole until you sent that sh*t, disappointed in you if the public seen these emails you would end up with egg on your face."

"And let's get this straight @cherylcole I don't need no hype of you! I'd rather go broke and work in sainsburys than talk about your personal sh*t."

"This is not a twitter beef I still have massive respect for @cherylcole but you shouldn't of tweeted that knowing we both have personal messages to eachother #silenceinthecourt."

Ooh, touchy touchy!!

Not one to miss out on the action, Cheryl’s friend and band mate Nicola Roberts waded in to defend Cheryl, although what she said didn’t seem to help, but cause rather a few eyebrows to be raised, she tweeted ‘Emails..?? I think someone's been having you on mate.' before adding a hashtag which will probably go down in Twitter history: '#shedoesntdoemailsshedoesphonesex. Classic!

Wowsers, what would we do without Twitter eh? Now all we need is Alesha Dixon, Ashley Cole and half of So Solid Crew to join in and we’ll really have a party! Mind you, our Cheryl is no stranger to celebrity feuds; just ask Charlotte Church or Lily Allen.

Meanwhile, as Cheryl is licking her wounds over here, there’s drama galore at her old job on the X Factor USA. After a not so impressive series 1, Simon ‘Mr. grumpy’ Cowell decided to make a few changes and went all Alan Sugar on the other judges. In a humiliating move, host Steve Jones, Cheryl’s replacement Nicole Sherzathingy and pint-sized Paula Abdul have been given the axe. Whilst the other two doesn’t really surprise me, I was shocked to learn that Paula was given the chop as her and Simon are so close. In a statement, Paula has said ‘Yes, it’s true; I won’t be returning to The X Factor next season,' before adding 'I’ve learned through my longevity in this industry that business decisions often times override personal consideration.’

The aXe Factor!

Steve Jones took to his Twitter page to confirm his departure, telling his followers ‘I won't be hosting next seasons X Factor which is a shame but I can't complain as I've had a great time.’ Somehow I think  Steve’s' exit won’t be a big loss to X Factor fans as a lot of people complained that he didn’t fit in with the show and that for some reason they preferred Dermot O’Dreary.

So, now as it stands only Simon and music producer L.A Reid remain and the inevitable hunt for replacements can begin. Simon has spoken about his desire to have Mariah Carey on the panel, but apparently her husband Nick Cannon has said ‘Why would my wife want to be on a show like that? For somebody who has a legendary career, I don't know why they would.” Hey! If it’s good enough for Tulisa, then it’s good enough for Mariah!!

In other news:

• Forget a gold medal; Olympian Mo Farah has become the first person ever to complete The Cube. If you haven’t watched the ITV game show with Phillip Schofield, you should! It’s great. Mo scooped the £250k jackpot with an impressive 6 lives still intact!
• TOWIE's Lydia and large Arg have split again. Fast becoming the new Mark and Lauren, Lydia was seen sobbing throughout the whole of Sundays episode whilst Arg wondered around like a plonker. Diddums.
• Peter Andre has spoken out again about something to do with his ex Katie Price. He says zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
• Caroline Flack can now safely leave her home now that she and Harry Styles are no more. Such a shame, because if they had only waited for a few weeks, Harry would have turned 18 and things may have been different for their relationship. They could have gone to the pub together, or went clubbing together, or shared a fag, or voted for someone for something...