Kate Middleton is Pregnant!

Hold the front pages because the story of the year is here: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have today announced that they are expecting their first baby! 

Yes, the pitter patter of royal feet will soon be gracing the halls of the royal residence. A statement from St James’ Palace read:

‘The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby, St James's Palace announced today’

Reports have said that the Duchess has been taken to King Edward VII hospital in London suffering from acute morning sickness and she’s expecting to stay for several days.

A statement on the couples website said that “The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news."

Yes, I’m sure prince Harry is chuffed to bits that he’s now been demoted to fourth in line to the throne as the new arrival will automatically take third spot- hard luck Harry!

And it seems is the rest of the country is also delighted with the news with celebrities including Cheryl Cole and fellow mum-to-be Rochelle Humes tweeting their excitement.

Is this is how they took the news?

Even the Prime Minister is happy with the news, tweeting: “I'm delighted by the news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a baby.’ But nobody cares what you think, so shush!

And now the news has gone global, there will no doubt be an endless speculation of baby names. I’m thinking Beyonce if it’s a girl- no?

One thing’s for sure, K-Middy will be the new yummy mummy about town, so move over Fearne Cotton! And of course designers will be tripping over themselves to dress her now famous bump- and what better person than Sarah Burton (she designed Kate’s wedding dress- keep up!) as it’s rumoured that she has a bun in the oven as well!

No doubt the happy couple will have absolutely NO PRIVACY for months to come, what with people like me gawping at their every move! But none the less, I wish them all the very best and thanks for making this an excellent ending for what has been an amazing year for Great Britain!

Jodie marsh and Kirk Norcross dating? WTF!

The happy couple: Kirk and Jodie

Yes, that’s the headline I gave this because quite frankly that’s exactly what I thought! Ex TOWIE star Kirk Norcross and glamour girl come body builder Jodie Marsh has apparently been dating and seem smitten with each other. What on earth possessed these two to get together?? Perhaps they were attracted to each other through their shared love of tattoos? Or their passion for hometown Essex? Maybe they chatted about appearing on Celebrity Big Brother?  Or is it that they bonded by swapping notes about their nose surgery?

Whatever brought them together, it does seem like an odd pairing. Mind you, anyone that Jodie dates does seem like an odd choice. Remember Kenzie from Blazin’ Squad? (I’ll give you a second to recall)

(And now I’ll give you another second to remember their ‘hit’ song... you know what it is... ‘see you at the crossroads crossroads crossroads’...there you go!)

Groping on the first date? How romantic!

Apparently even though the reality ‘stars’ have only been dating for about a week, they’ve been very open about their relationship from the beginning, even live tweeting throughout their first date! How romantic! During the evening in which Kirk splashed out and treated Jodie to a DVD on the sofa, the two kept their followers in the loop by tweeting and posting pictures. 

Jodie tweeted: ‘Right nobody disturb us. Me and @kirk_official are having a spooning session on the sofa with a film. We're too tired to go out.'

Meanwhile Kirk posted a similar message: ‘Having a spooning session with @JodieMarsh watching a film! #MmmmNice did someone say #50ShadesOfKirk ;-).'

Jodie also took the opportunity to reveal that she had seen her new man naked, although she did later insist that they had not slept together as she has been celibate for a year, she tweeted ‘Had the funniest day ever. Seen @kirk_official stark naked today. What a treat that was ‪#hunglikeadonkey x x x’ How sweet.

Looks like Jodie has found the Mr. Grey to her Miss Steele. I give it 3 months.

In other celebrity news:

• There’s another baby boom in celebville. Kourtney Kardashian has given birth to her first daughter Penelope Scotland Disick. Congratulations Kourtney, Scot and little Mason! 
• Adele and Lily Allen have also announced that their preggers. Adele is expecting her first child with boyfriend Simon Konecki (apparently she’s due in 2 months- wtf!) and Lily Allen is expecting her second child with husband Sam Cooper less than a year after having baby Ethel (hopefully she’ll think of a better name this time round!)
• Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid are still yet to name their daughter who was born 3 weeks ago! Why don’t they just name her ‘Roxanne’ and be done with it, you know they want to!
• Nick Grimshaw is set to replace Chris Moyles as host of Radio 1’s breakfast show and I’m not happy! Not because I dislike 'Grimmers', it’s because Chris will now start thinking that he can continue to move into television. Er, no thanks! Haven’t you heard of the phrase ‘face for radio?’
• Kris and Bruce Jenner’s marriage appears to be on the rocks as it has emerged that Kris has been in contact with the man who helped end her first marriage. Kris had an affair with Todd Waterman over 20 years ago whilst she was still married to Robert Kardashian (the older, now deceased one not her son!), and the pair have recently been in touch via flirty emails and texts. But now Bruce has found out and is now furious at his wife, and so he should be! Watch this space! 

And because I'm sooo nice, for those of you who still don't know who Blazin' Squad is (tut tut), here's their biggest hit Crossroads! I know, I know, I'm great...

Those pesky celebs!

So I stop blogging for a couple of weeks and what happens? Those pesky celebs cause so much drama and controversy I’ve got more juicy showbiz gossip than I can shake a stick at! So much has happened in celebville over the last couple of weeks that I’ve had to categorise the gossip and condense them into bite size (ish) chunks! So here it goes…

Feuds. 

Family feud: Tulisa and Dappy

• Celebs love nothing better than getting into a good old Twitter scrap, no more so it seems than Tulisa. The X Factor beauty has had a massive row with cousin and (what is now revealed) former N Dubz band mate Dappy. Laying into Dappy, who has a penchant for wearing stupid hats and saying 'na na naii’, Tulisa let rip after the rapper retweeted messages from fans who were trying to appeal to Tulisa to reach out to her band mate. Obviously enraged at being portrayed as the bad guy, Tulisa tweeted a string of messages to Dappy in which she apparently confirmed N Dubz split (I’m not going to try and translate what she says, work it out for yourselves!): 

@TheDappy u know my number mate..I dont know urs cus u aint gave it 2 me since u changed it... so dont gass the fans, u wana talk Im here."
"@TheDappy serious man I hold it down, dont make me start talkin real cus u won't like it nor will the fans, allow twitter,man up n call me.
"4 the ndubletts triena take sides... pls remember... dappy left ndubz, that's y we split, n wen he wanted 2 get away I tried 2 move him... In2 my yard."
"He left n got a new num n I aint heard from him since, he aint called or made contact, just tlks 2 the press about me. Sayin he misses me but where the hells my call, I don't even have his num! had 2 txt me dad 2 pass a message 2 him n got no reply."

She finished her rant by urging Dappy to call her and scolding herself for rowing so publicly. Over to you Dappy…

• Another Twitter row has also erupted (getting a bit boring now, isn’t it) this time between The Wanted’s Tom and TOWIE’s Mario. It all started when Lydia posted a pic of her and her mum reading a magazine in which they gave an interview. For some reason, Tom decided to have a pop and said ‘How ironic is that picture? Is that what you lot call yourselves these days for doing nothing!! #shocking.' This caused an outraged Mario to let rip, with Tom fighting back. I can’t be bothered to go into all the tweets (as there are so many) but basically Mario got labeled a 2^nd class Mark Wright whilst Tom was branded the ugly one in the band and just a backing singer to Max (the bald one in the group who is apparently the ‘fittest’). Can I just say that all these tweets seem to be true, so what’s the beef? Lydia, Lucy and Debbie waded in too but no one really cares.

Where's the love Cheryl?

• Celebrity dispute veteran Cheryl Cole has been ruffling the feathers of former X Factor mentee (is that a word?) Alexandra Burke. The 'Hallelujah’ singer has revealed that Cheryl has practically ignored her for the past year, failing to return the singers texts and calls.  This echoes claims from Cher Lloyd, who also confessed that the Geordie lass isn’t handy with the telephone and has failed to keep in touch with her either. Alex revealed this after Cheryl tweeted her out of the blue saying how hot she was in her latest video. Sounds like Chezza need to work on her people skills…                                                                                                                                                                         
• The Bachelor ‘winner’ Carianne (you know, the one with the voice that makes you want to kill yourself- or her) has slagged off ex ‘boyfriend’ Gavin Henson, branding him boring! She also stated that he tricked her and the whole relationship was fake. No s**t Sherlock! After watching that show religiously, we all knew that Gavin was as dull as Roy Cropper off Corrie and that it was probably more fun having a convo with a brick wall! You knew the score Carianne. Win the show, pretend to be interested for a while, make some money and then done! We all knew it was coming love, so stop kidding yourself!

Romance

• Love is in the air again for Mr. Lover Lover Jermaine Defoe. But clearly the footballer has had a recent bump to his head because instead of going for his normal glamour model/ reality star/ vacuous blonde type- he’s actually hooked up with someone who has a talent and isn’t a fame hungry airhead.  Step forward Alexandra Burke! Yes, Alex clearly pays attention to her song lyrics when she sang she wanted a ‘Bad Boy’. I guess dreams do come true! Although judging by Defoe’s track record with women, it’ll probably be more like a nightmare! Good luck with that one Alex!

• Another couple setting tongues wagging are pop stars Jessie J and Tinie Tempah. The two stars of British music have apparently been seeing each over for a few weeks and seem smitten, with openly bisexual Jessie spending a lot of time at his house. This romance, however unlikely, seems rather cute and fans no doubt are probably wondering if they’ll collaborate in the studio as well as the bedroom. It’ll bring music to their ears! (literally)

Babies

• A massive congratulations to The Saturday’s singer Una Healy who gave birth to baby girl Aoife Belle Foden last week! All the Saturday's girls were really excited and tweeted messages of excitement. Rochelle was recently seen with fiancé Marvin (lucky cow) going to visit baby Aoife and Una, who celebrated her first Mother's Day on Sunday. All together now- aaaww!!!                                                                                                                       

Ready to pop: Jessica Simpson

•  Breaking news- Jessica Simpson is STILL pregnant! She seems to have been carrying that bump around for about 17 years! Perhaps she had the baby ages ago but loved being preggers so much she walks around with a cushion stuffed up her top? Nonetheless, the singer (does she still sing?) looks like she’s about to give birth to a horse let alone a baby, so here’s wishing her a happy and safe birth whenever it is (hopefully sometime in the next decade).                                                                     
                                                                                                                          
  

Is that a nappy your'e waring Kris?

• Ok, so she may not be pregnant, but that doesn’t stop Kris Jenner from showing off her baby bump! The limelight hogging ‘momager’ decided that to celebrate son Rob turning 25, she’d post on her blog a picture of herself pregnant with Rob, in a style similar to that of Demi Moore (albeit years before). Yep. That’s what every 25-year-old guy wants to see. A picture of their mum, starkers (apart from a pair of white pants that looks like a nappy) with a huge bump that contains you as a foetus! Happy birthday Rob!

Other celeb news I can’t be bothered to categorise

•  Simon Cowell has threatened to axe the X Factor if this year’s series isn’t a complete success. This may very well be true what with the controversies surrounding the last series, but Mr. Cowell, isn’t this a convenient time to let this slip? A week before your other show Britain’s Got Talent is set to take on The Voice in the ratings war? I smell a rat!

• A sex tape has been leaked allegedly featuring Tulisa doing a naughty sex act, gasp! If this is true, then the former N Dubz singer is very stupid and may have ruined her X Factor career- unless Simon axes it first of course. Don’t these people ever learn? If you’re going to have sex, just don’t film it! Because as much as you love the person involved at the time, when you get rich and famous, they are only going to betray you and sell the tape! Unless of course, it’s your dream to be the new Paris or Kim… And following her row with Dappy, he responded to the sex tape news by tweeting 'Man this sex video fing is a bit rough! I knew Tulisa weren't talkin to me, but not cos she had her mouf full!!' Hmmm, don't know if that helps Dappy, but it's the thought that counts...

George in handcuffs? I'm not saying a word!

• Both Russell Brand and George Clooney have been arrested in non-related incidents. Whilst George was making people’s hearts melt by protesting outside the Sudanese  embassy about Syrian human rights abuse, Russell meanwhile grabbed a photographer’s phone and lobbed it through a law firm’s window! Tut tut!                                                                                              

• And finally 90’s band Steps recently performed at GAY, with Claire saying she doesn’t mind being the big girl in the band. The size 16 singer, who is happy with her size, doesn’t seem fazed that Lisa 'desperado' Scott-Lee is trying to be the hot one, despite everyone knowing that it was Faye that all the boys fancied. Even if she is bothered, she can always console herself with cake. And that’s not me being spiteful; Claire is actually hosting Lorraine’s Cake Club which aims to find Britain’s best cake. I think I’ll stop right here. As a treat for you, here's Steps doing what they do best:                

Oh Bey-by!

Proud Parents!

Well well well, what a week it has been in showbiz, those celebs sure do give me a lot to talk about! First of all can I say a big congratulations to Beyoncé and Jay Z who this week have welcomed baby Blue Ivy Carter to the world. I must say for a music superstar and the King of Hip Hop, it’s not a very bling bling megastar name is it? I was thinking more like Queen Shaniqua Diamante Bling Star Carter, but maybe that’s a tad over the top? Still, I’m sure it’ll grow on me eventually. At least baby Blue will not have a care in the world whilst growing up; mega rich parents, fantastic musical influences and already a song written about her courtesy of her very smitten and talented daddy! Looks like she’ll be the hottest baby in town. I bet Harper Seven Beckham is spitting her dummy out as I speak!

Talking of the patter of tiny feet, hot on the heels of Peaches Geldof is Sienna Miller who it is announced is expected a baby with boyfriend Tom Sturridge (me neither). Actually scratch that, he is now her fiancé! Wow, that Sienna moves fast. Just the other day, we were discussing her engagement to Jude Law (again). But hey ho, each to their own. Congrats to Sienna. Congratulations also to Rochelle Wiseman and Marvin Humes who recently got engaged on a romantic Caribbean getaway. I must say, Rochelle is one very lucky lady. Not only did she bag such a gorgeous, talented and super fit boyfriend but she got a £45.000 engagement ring and a £50.000 Range Rover thrown in as well! Jealous, me? Well yes actually, very jealous!

Only way is out!

Some people who are not so lucky are Towie stars Maria Fowler and Harry Derbridge, or should that be FORMER Towie stars. Although they both claim on their Twitter pages that they have decided to move on to concentrate on ‘new projects’, we all know that they were really axed by the producers. Why? Well let me tell you! Maria is as dull as dishwater, and as Kirk Norcross so beautifully put it, ‘she’s just an extra!’ All she ever was is Lauren Pope’s annoying best friend, and even a weird relationship with Kirk’s sad old father failed to save her! And harry? Well, he’s funny at times and his Lady Gaga routine had us all in stitches. But quite frankly, who is he without Amy Childs? The double act he had with his flame-haired cousin was one of the reasons we loved him, but now she’s gone he just looks like a lost little boy! Yes, the producers were right to let them go. The sad thing is, they’ll probably fade into oblivion as they don’t quite have the charisma, charm or personality to make it on their own like Mark Wright or Amy Childs. Looks like the only way is out for these two…

Niomi xxx