Hate to say I told you so!

A woman scorned

Ok, so I didn’t tell her, but I knew it would happen! Allegations have emerged that footballer Jermain Defoe has cheated on girlfriend Alexandra Burke. And if these allegations are true, I can’t say I’m  entirely surprised. After all, Jermain Defoe doesn’t exactly have a good track record with commitment does he? The lothario is more famous for showing off his ball skills in the bedroom rather than the pitch and has somehow manage to lure such intellectual beauties such as Charlotte Mears (Google her if you don’t know), Danielle Lloyd and everyone’s favourite home-wrecker; Imogen Thomas. 

To be honest, I was rather surprised when I heard he was going out with Alexandra, after all she does have talent and a proper career as opposed to his previous conquests. I thought perhaps things may be different this time as Alex may have been able to provide Jermaine with some stimulating conversation to keep him engaged for more than five minutes. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be! One flash of skirt and a whiff of cheap perfume and he’s off like a dog chasing a bone! Sorry Alex, it looks like your gonna have to change your taste in men, because this is what happens when you go with a bad boy!

Third time lucky for Katie?

Who’s gonna take Katie up the aisle? Well it seems like Leandro Penna is the man for the job as he’s only gone and proposed to girlfriend Katie Price! The glamour model, who last year claimed she’ll never marry again after the breakdown of her second marriage, has seemingly changed her mind and accepted her Argentinean toy boy’s proposal. This will make Leandro Katie’s third husband as she was formerly wed to ‘singer’ Peter Andre and ‘cagefighter’ Alex Reid. I’m sure Katie’s really excited to get wed again, but surely she can’t top her fairytale, gypsy-like wedding to Pete? Or even be able to emulate the romance of eloping to Las Vegas to marry Alex.

 She should justbe done with it and have a quickie in Gretna Green registry offices followed by a slap-up meal at Toby Carvery. At least their first dance will be great as the couple is set to appear on Argentina’s version of Strictly Come Dancing. Just one thing Katie, you’ve got that small matter of divorcing Alex first!

Also this week:

• Delusion alert! Ever since her suspension from TOWIE last week, Lauren Goodger has been lying low. But behind closed doors it’s emerged that Lauren has been counting column inches as- get this- she believes that she is as famous as Jordan or even Cheryl Cole! Wow, looks like that TOWIE fame has gone to her head. Maybe a break from the show will do her good!
• The claws are out! Apparently Beyoncé does not approve of Kanye West’s relationship with reality star Kim Kardashian. The ‘Love on top’singer is allegedly unimpressed by Kim’s sex-tape past and dalliances with other men. The conservative star, who is married to Jay-Z, has told in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t want Kim hanging around in her exclusive circle! Well, it looks like Kim has got some even better mates as only last week, she was having dinner with the president!
• Hold the front page- Jessica Simpson has finally given birth! After what seems to have been forever, the singer revealed on her website that she has given birth to a girl called Maxwell Drew Johnson. The baby weighed an enormous 9lb, 13oz- no wonder jess looked as big as a house! Nonetheless, congratulations Eric and Jessica!
• Cat fight! Jenny Frost has let slip that any potential Atomic Kitten reunions will take place without Kerry Katona. Jenny, who replaced Kerry in the band in 2001, has said ‘I don't want to be derogatory about Kerry, but there shouldn't be four of us in Atomic Kitten’. This remark is a far cry from what she said about Kerry a few years back, stating that she would rather eat her own kidney with a spoon than work with Kerry. Meow!  

If for some reason you forgot that Kerry Katona was in fact a member of Atomic Kitten, here is a reminder. Please note that she doesn't actually sing, but rather speaks the words. (A bit like Lily Allen.)