Don't make Chris Brown angry, you won't like him when he's angry!

Chris Brown has never been one to hold back, and his latest Twitter spat shows he has no plans to change!

He recently partook in an abusive exchange of words with US comedienne Jenny Johnson which began when Brown tweeted a picture alongside the comment "I look old as f**k! I'm only 23..." Johnson took it upon herself to respond to this, saying "I know! Being a worthless piece of s**t can really age a person."

The ‘Don’t wake me up’ singer obviously did an ‘OH HELL NO!’ (Including the finger snap I presume) and crudely responded “Take them teeth out when u Sucking my d**k HOE” to which Johnson replied: "It's 'HO' not 'HOE' you ignorant f**k." I quite agree, spelling is important!

What followed was a series of heated exchanges between the two, which included Brown tweeting comments such as "I should fart while ur giving me top" and “mom says hello... She told me not to s**** in ur mouth, wanted me to s*** right on the retina.” Eew, and also lol.

 Johnson seemed to back down from the confrontation in the end, saying “Okay. I'm done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to s**t and fart on me."

Rihanna herself seemed to later get in on the act by later posting a picture of the comments and tweeting “How does one find the time? We gotta do better than this!!" Her response certainly adds fuel to the fire that the pair are definitely back together; and that didn’t do it, then she must’ve used a flame thrower or got Charmander on board when she posted an earlier snap of Chris brown sprawled out on her bed! That’ll get the gossips talking- ingenious RiRi!

If the two megastars are really back together, then it seems that Jenny Johnson won’t be the last person who’ll be eager to give their opinion. But if their latest duet ‘Nobody’s business’ is anything to go by, I don’t think they give two hoots!

A live episode? Oh shut-uuuppp!!

So I’m hearing reports that as well as a Christmas special, the producers of TOWIE want to do a live episode. A live episode? Are they crazy? 

Now excuse me if I’m wrong, but the cast of TOWIE are hardly Bafta winning actors are they? Oh wait! Ok, so they maybe Bafta winners, but that aside, they’d probably struggle to land a role in Hollyoaks. But, this obviously doesn’t faze the makers of the hit Essex show or indeed some of the cast members who have recently expressed their views on the upcoming live episode.

Joey Essex tweeted his opinion by saying: “LIVE episode of TOWIE in December!!! #creepySICK” Yes Joey, “creepysick” is probably a phrase most people would use to describe it. 

Mario Falcone tweeted a slightly more coherent response: “We'll be completely out of our comfort zone so it will be really scary but I'll be well excited!” Well yes Mario, it’ll definitely be out of your comfort zone. You’ll probably have to learn your lines properly and deliver a scene without messing it up and will have to try to convince the viewing public that you actually know what you’re doing. So yes, very exciting! 

A sentiment which was echoed by Jess Wright who tweeted: “Shut the front doooor there's going to be a LIVE towie ep in december ahhhhhh who's excited?” I’m excited Jess! Can’t you tell? If you really think about it, it will probably be really hilarious. Watching Joey, Arg and co try to do a full episode without completely live without the use of editing or retakes? Sounds hilarious- what could possibly go wrong?

And look at this way. If a live episode stops them from recording another Christmas single, then I’m all for it! 

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a reminder of that Christmas single. You're Welcome.

 

Oh my god, The X Factor is a fix! No sh*t Sherlock!

What the hell did you expect? After loads of speculation that the reality show’s star is fading and that viewing figures have dramatically dropped since last year, it’s to be expected that producers would have to pull out the stops for the first live shows of this year. And with stiff competition from BBC rivals Strictly Come Dancing, who’ve secured big name stars this year including 2 Olympians, a bit of controversy is just what the doctor ordered! 

Let’s just skip the actual singing part (which was really boring and full of naff, predictable and cliché song choices) and get right down to the vote off. In the bottom two were Rylan Clark, whose remixed rendition of Spandau Ballet’s ‘Gold’ was actually quite entertaining and Carolynne Poole, who apparently did a country version of Nicki Minaj’s 'Starships'- but I missed this because I went to make a cup of tea. Now, unless you’ve been on another planet (or you just don’t watch The X Factor) you’ll know that Rylan has been receiving a lot of stick over the fact he is still in the competition (because he can’t actually sing) and also that Carolynne is a perfectly good singer who just missed out on the live shows last year.

Judgement day: Rylan and Carolynne

 So bearing this and their final ‘sing-off’ performances in mind, when it came down to Louis, who had the deciding vote (and was also the judge who eliminated Carolynne from the competition the previous year), it should have been a straight forward bye-bye to Rylan, right? Wrong! Cue the drama and controversy:

• Louis ‘toing’ and ‘froing’ apparently facing the hardest decision of his life (even though he goes through this same sh*t every year
• Dermot shouting at Louis to hurry up and choos
• Nicole and Gary both urging Louis to save their acts
• Tulisa hounding Louis to just pick one while Louis pulls his hair out in anguis
• A silent, unknown figure crouching down to have a quiet word in Louis ear
• Louis then saving Carolynne, but immediately changing his mind and taking it to deadlock
• The gasps of horror when Dermot reveals that it was in fact Carolynne who got the lowest number of votes and will be going home
• The boos from the crowd as a shocked Rylan hugs a distraught Carolynne
• An outraged Gary storming off stage

My oh my! You see, it’s not me making it exciting, this actually happened and that is EXACTLY what the producers wanted. All last night and throughout the day, it wasn’t strictly that everyone was tweeting about, it was The X Factor. Everyone was declaring- it’s The Fix Factor! And they are probably right.  Don’t you see people, the x factor is no longer just a singing competition, it’s an entertainment show. It relies on outlandish characters, controversies, name-changes, romances and scandal to keep it alive. No longer are the days when raw singing talent are enough to satiate the ever demanding audiences- that’s what The Voice is for, and look how that compared. We must learn to accept that the X Factor has lost its sparkle and is in reality Eastenders with music and make-over’s. So let’s stop debating, stop arguing, stop voting (coz you’re wasting your time and money) and sit back and enjoy the ride, or as they like to say; the ‘emotional rollercoaster’.

Who would you have saved? Take a look at their performances below:

Whereeeee haaaave yooouu beeeen?!

Whereeeee haaaave yooouu beeeen?!, I here you ask? Well excuse me! I have a job I have to work; I can’t just sit around all day writing about celebrities! Although, that’s EXACTLY what I want to do for a living, if you haven’t gathered. Anyway, I’m here now, so what have I missed? Well loads as it happens, I hardly know where to begin!! Well how about I break it down:

Love is in the air

Where's your hand Russell?

• Well of all the ‘WTF’ moments, this really took the biscuit! I’m talking about Russell Brand hooking up with none other than Geri Halliwell! Now this is a pairing that I do not get. I heard that they hit it off at the Olympic closing ceremony, where they both performed, and bonded over a mutual love and sandwiches and books. Now, I know that Russell loves to spice up his sex life, but I wasn’t expecting this!

• Apparently everybody’s favourite ‘I’m angry that my ex dumped me so I’m gonna write a song about what a heart-breaking b*****d he is’ singer Adele has married her lover Simon Konecki in secret. The ‘Someone like you singer’ who is due to give birth in October apparently wed her fiancé sometime last week and according to a source it was a ‘fabulous occasion.’ Well, whether reports are true or not, I wish them every happiness.

'This way Ashley, er  I mean Tre!'

• Chezza’s got a new man! Ok, so that’s all the excitement I can muster with this story, but it seems that Cheryl Cole has well and truly replaced Ashley by hooking up with a hot American dancer- nice one. The pair have actually been seeing each other for a few months and apparently its love. Ashley even popped around for a cuppa and offered the pair his congratulations before joining Cheryl’s fella Tre Holloway in a hearty game of croquet. Ok, I made that last bit up, but one can dream.

• She’s done it! Ok, not quite at the altar, but Jennifer Aniston has got engaged. The Hollywood actress, who has starred in legendary films such as ‘Along came Polly’ and ‘Marley and me’ has accepted boyfriend Justin Theroux’s proposal on his 41^st birthday. Looks like Jen has finally found her lobster! And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just leave! Go on, get off my blog!!

So so so scandalous!

You think I'm posting the real pic so I get sued? I think not!

• Last week the world was rocked by a royal scandal. No, not that the Duchess of Cambridge has worn the same dress again (seriously guys, get over it!), but that Prince Harry has been flashing his crown jewels in a Las Vegas hotel room! Now for some, this is just a normal Friday night, but for a member of the royal family, it’s a bit frowned upon. According to reports, the Prince was having some fun splashing around in the pool with Olympic swimming champion Ryan Lochte (as you do) whilst on his hols. He later then invited a bevy of bikini-clad beauties to join him in a game of strip billiards. Well, to cut a long story short, he wasn’t very good and ended up parading around starkers with a lady friend. And because Hazza was amongst close friends whom he has known for years and can trust (ahem), a picture was taken and ended up in the papers! Now how did that happen?

• David Beckham and Katherine Jenkins. Now there’s two people you wouldn’t normally put together, but somehow they’ve been accused of having an affair.  But in a strange move, Katherine added fuel to the fire by angrily denying the affair on Twitter instead of ignoring the false accusations. She tweeted ‘I’ve read some horrible rumours on here & want u 2 know I absolutely deny I’ve had an affair with David Beckham.’ ‘The rumours are very hurtful, untrue & my lawyers tell me actionable.’ Okay Kath, I believe you, but I’m not sure I believe Lily Cooper who decided to pipe up with her own defensive tweets: ‘I’m really upset at the hurtful rumours going round about me having an affair with Jay Z. My lawyers tell me they are actionable.’

• Lindsay Lohan has been accused and now cleared of stealing jewellery from a Hollywood house party. The ‘actress’ who was found guilty for stealing a necklace in February, was apparently...WAIT A MINUTE! I’m gonna stop right here. This is no scandal; this is just a day in the life of the train-wreck that is Li-Lo. Someone seriously needs to hurry up and make a Mean Girls 2 before her life really goes to hell. Enough said.

Oh Em Gee!

Yes, she actually left her house like this!

• The claws are out for Jasmine Lennard and Kerry Katona! The ‘model’, who played with Simon Cowell’s naughty bits for 6 months, has lashed out at Katona after she said that Jasmine needed psychiatric help in her magazine column. Kezza stated ‘I was hoping Jasmine Lennard would stay in the house because she is so controversial. 'I can't believe they apparently had to hide knives from her – she clearly needs psychological help!' This didn’t go down well with Jasmine, the first to be evicted from this year’s Celebrity Big Brother, who released her inner bitch (wait, her bitch is out and proud!) by blasting the former Atomic Kitten star on Twitter, she tweeted: ‘HA HA HA...YOU...think I need help. Well...i think YOU need to start using contraception get over @BrianMcFadden stop taking...’ ‘Cocaine,lose a few pounds&start focusing on your children not boyfriends.I think your vile.#peasant’. Well, that sure told Kerry! But Jas do us a favour and assess your own life first- and eat some pies while you’re at it!

• Cheryl Cole and Will.I.Am were involved in a car crash last night! But fear not my darling readers, it was a minor accident. Chezza and Will were driving back from a late night studio session, and it seemed that Will demonstrated his awesome driving skills by crashing into a parked car- not so dope. Whilst Will’s airbag inflated in his face and caused a nose bleed, Cheryl’s airbag failed to inflate and so she slammed head-first into the dashboard causing bleeding and minor bruising. Thankfully the pair, who have collaborated on ‘Heartbreaker’ and 3 words’, were ok, and both took to their Twitter pages to reassure their fans. Maybe, this is the earth’s way of telling the Black Eye Peas star to get rid of that stupid haircut!- maybe.

That’s all for now folks! ;)