Scouse Spice anyone?

You know that situation where an old clingy friend keeps inviting you for a ‘catch-up’ even though it’s the last thing you want to do? Well that’s probably how Victoria Beckham feels about the rumoured Spice Girls reunion. After looking more awkward than Caroline Flack at a One Direction concert at last week’s premiere for the Viva Forever musical, Victoria probably can't wait to say goodbyeeee myyyy frieeend to the rest of the girls- you see what I did there!

Anyways, lucky for her the rest of the Spice Girls have seemingly got the message and have apparently pushed ahead for a new album and tour without the moody one sulking in the corner. 

But, instead of reforming as a four piece a la Take That, it seems that they want to replace Victoria all together and either hold auditions in a televised talent search or simply replace her with someone already in the industry. What?! Don’t they remember Hearsay’s disastrous attempt to continue with some bloke called Johnny Shentall after Michelle from Corrie left?

As if the idea isn’t bonkers enough already, the word on the grapevine is that Sugababes star Heidi Range has been scouted as a possible replacement for Posh! Say whaaat!

Now I’m sure Heidi is a nice girl and all, but if she does this she’ll just be known as the girl who replaces people in bands, having formerly left Atomic Kitten to be in the Sugababes after the eternally scowling Mutya Buena left. And what will she be known as if this ludicrous idea does go ahead? Scouse spice? Replacement spice? They couldn’t get Johnny Shentall, so they got me instead spice?

And what will become of the Sugababes if she leaves? They’ve already had more line-up changes than Taylor Swift’s had boyfriends (ok, not quite!). They’ll probably end up where all the other forgotten pop stars go- to the I’m a celebrity...get me out of here jungle of course! Limahl anyone?

Look, the solution is simple. If the Spice Girls really want to carry on milking, I mean performing as a band then all they have to do is get a cardboard cut-out of Posh and plonk her on the stage. After all, she barely sings and dances as it is so no one will tell the difference- problem solved!

Kate Middleton is Pregnant!

Hold the front pages because the story of the year is here: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have today announced that they are expecting their first baby! 

Yes, the pitter patter of royal feet will soon be gracing the halls of the royal residence. A statement from St James’ Palace read:

‘The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby, St James's Palace announced today’

Reports have said that the Duchess has been taken to King Edward VII hospital in London suffering from acute morning sickness and she’s expecting to stay for several days.

A statement on the couples website said that “The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news."

Yes, I’m sure prince Harry is chuffed to bits that he’s now been demoted to fourth in line to the throne as the new arrival will automatically take third spot- hard luck Harry!

And it seems is the rest of the country is also delighted with the news with celebrities including Cheryl Cole and fellow mum-to-be Rochelle Humes tweeting their excitement.

Is this is how they took the news?

Even the Prime Minister is happy with the news, tweeting: “I'm delighted by the news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a baby.’ But nobody cares what you think, so shush!

And now the news has gone global, there will no doubt be an endless speculation of baby names. I’m thinking Beyonce if it’s a girl- no?

One thing’s for sure, K-Middy will be the new yummy mummy about town, so move over Fearne Cotton! And of course designers will be tripping over themselves to dress her now famous bump- and what better person than Sarah Burton (she designed Kate’s wedding dress- keep up!) as it’s rumoured that she has a bun in the oven as well!

No doubt the happy couple will have absolutely NO PRIVACY for months to come, what with people like me gawping at their every move! But none the less, I wish them all the very best and thanks for making this an excellent ending for what has been an amazing year for Great Britain!